I am so excited to see Redhead Gal reach one year. Please visit and celebrate this miracle! Very proud of you, keep it up and keep coming back!
Comments (20)
Category: Recovery
When I first got sober (2005) one of the hardest things for me to do was to have a friend, and be a friend (still working on it). Oh how I craved to be able to have a chick friend, to hang out, shop, talk on the phone, talk about our ovaries:) However consumed with FEAR I only knew isolation, a little party with me, myself and I.
I am an animal lover, heck I approached a schooling then employment as a Vet Tech for almost 10 years. I went back to school for a new career in the creative media arts, thought making more $$$ would settle my ego, or raise it where I would be satisfied. Ha, wrong I was of course.
Animals are safe to me, they accept me and need me. I can actually be of service to them. One of the most challenging suggestions that I had to take from my sponsor was this, “You need to take a break from helping animals and build on relationships with people, with friends . . .” That is not word for word but close to her message. I was so upset at her suggestion then of course hearing a different message. After all my disease is composed of living in an ill perception. How grateful I am for her guidence today.
If it were not for AA I would not have ANY friends. I am able to get out self and actually have fun outside of the rooms of AA. Sunday after the womans stag many of us met at the Corner Bakery, it was a big group. I GOT to interact and learn about the lives of others; I GOT to laugh and more importantly listen; I GOT to exist; I GOT to be a part of . . .
Friday night I hung out with Mel. We both have similar addictive behaviors. Many times she keeps me on check. We are trudging together, warriers in this battle. God I am so grateful that you have blessed me with this disease. Thru such pain I have grown to know many blessings.
time 4 some grAAitude:
Comments (21)
Category: Recovery
This is how I feel with a dash of insanity each month when my girlie parts start acting up. Make your own South Park character.
Had a great recovery weekend. The only damper was that my monthly visitor came and the 2 little red horns on my head came out (poor Mitch). In fact I had to leave work early yesterday and called in sick today. I am gonna make an appointment with my doctor, it takes a toll on me emotionally and physically very, very aggressively. Now I have am experiencing a painful bladder infection. Yay, “This too shall pass.”
Anyhow I am way over due for some grAAtitude:
Comments (18)
Category: Recovery
hAAppy HNT, take a looksie HERE “we are not a Glum Lot!”.
Took this in a little state called Chicago in March, Millennuim Park. It is good to remember this time cuz I gave up my sobriety just before our trip. When we were out there the obsession already took me. I remember Mitch & I were to go see his friend and desperately all I obsessed about was “how could I get a drink?” So I told him that I needed hairspray and a super-market would suffice. Before our day’s adventures we found a store, I told him “I will just run really quick, just wait out here for me so we can be on our way.” That rush of being in that store, to get the hairspray, my cover-up, and find the alcohol section. My mind went so rapid as I made the purchase . . .
I put the bottle of Rum in my purse. There was a Starbucks in the super market, I went into the bathroom and took in some of the contents of the bottle. We met up with his brother (first time meeting him) & friends he grew up with for lunch at AppleBees. I remember sitting there, eating little, although abstinant from bulimia still I was struggling on the trip of not having to configure my own meals. So instead, I just did not eat. When it was time to leave I excused myself, took my purse with Rum into the bathroom before we left and gobbled down almost half the bottle.
Crap, crap, crap, time to be the actress I told myself. The night turned ill as my body responded allergically to the poison. I went into a black out not being able to STOP. That night I only remember being on the church floor (wedding rehersals) in the bathroom talking to Alexis on my cell, more like crying — WTF? How did my emotions become so radical.??? All else is a blank. The next morning I woke up in our hotel, went to the bathroom in the morning and saw the empty bottle of Rum on the counter. My heart dropped and Fear consumed me of a head full of AA, the Big Book, all I experienced via the rooms of the fellowship. Mitch knew, he knows when I am ill, he went through my bags to find it that night (untreated Al-Anon behavior). Ohhhhhh how this hurt and still does, was it enough to stop me from running . . . sadly, no.
I have been aprehensive of sharing my experiences, um, “war stories” but I know I fell in love with AA when I walked into my first AA meeting and heard the ESH of the speaker. My mouth dropped, I was like “you did that?!?” and I was home. She gave me the gift of HOPE.
So relapse, it is a BIG part of my story now allowing me to be humble. For those seeking some freedom and seduced by fear, you are not alone and not a bad person. There is hope and together we fight this.
shAAking the grAAtitude:
This is a LIFE or DEATH disease. I read and listen to others that have lost a friend, sibling or child to it. It is ugly, horribly painful. However I have heard of some that haved lived thru HELL and back, it is possible to be FREE.
Comments (17)
Category: Recovery
God's Grace got me back safely to Alcoholics Anonymous. Welcome to my experiences from a dark relapse. New sobriety date: September 24, 2007.
